I had a dream last night that I walked into a room and met my very younger self. He looked me up and down, then our eyes met. His gaze was at once filled with curiosity and apprehension at my appearance. I smiled as I remembered his innocence. We didn’t speak as we were offered a seat and scenes from my life began to play out before us; memories to me and what was to be for him. I smiled, I cringed, I openly wept and I laughed a hardy belly laugh more than once. Then, as the scenes before us began to fade, I realized I had been so captivated by what was happening that I had not looked over at my naive counterpart.
I turned to him and he was staring at me, open mouthed and trembling. Then, a button was placed in my hand as a soothing voice spoke, seemingly in my head. “Simply press it and all you have witnessed will never have been. A new start; a chance to spare yourself from the agony of your life.” I turned the button over in my hand and stared at it for only an instant before crossing to my younger self who seemed now to be staring at me with a hopeful and pleading gaze.
Tears streamed down his face as he whispered: “please … press it. I don’t think I’m strong enough for all that.” I knelt before him. He wrapped his arms around me and began to openly sob. I held him for what seemed a lifetime and then gently pulled away, leaving my hand on his shoulder. The button fell away into nothing.
“Little one, I am sorry. It breaks my heart to know the agony you will face. I’m so very sorry that I can’t spare you from it, but to do so would take more from you, from both of us, than I’m willing to lose. When it hurts the most and things seem the darkest, that is when you will find yourself. That is when you will come to understand more about life than you could ever imagine. You are tougher, you are braver and you are more resilient than you can even begin to comprehend. You will make it through all of that and I’ll be waiting for you on the other. I’ll be your anchor. I’ll be a lighthouse in your storm. I’ll be waiting for you and you WILL reach me. That is when you will discover that you are, indeed, strong enough.
The point of sharing such a personal dream is to let you all know that we are strong enough. Life sometimes kicks you, hard. Just remember that we are always stronger than whatever may land on us. When the chips are down and being strong is the only option we have left … that is when you too will find that you ARE strong enough. We all are.
Now … enough of that … let’s all go watch a video of Nacho teaching me how to trail run like a boss.
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